


remember all the things we wanted

by rogersmorse



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 06:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5575582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogersmorse/pseuds/rogersmorse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She loved him. She loves him. She always will love him. </p><p>The ‘maybe’s are what hurt the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. now all our memories, they're haunted

**Author's Note:**

> for the anon who wanted something inspired by Sleeping at Last's cover of _Already Gone_.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pre-canon and a little bit present time.

Bobbi sniffles as she braces her hands on the sink, crumpling the papers in her hand. She'd seen this coming for a while now, was surprised it had taken this long. She can see the edges of his signature poking out and tears soon blur her vision.

She loved him. She loves him. She always will love him. 

The ‘maybe’s are what hurt the most. Maybe if she wasn't with SHIELD. Maybe if she could put her job second. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

There was never anything from his side. He tried, _so_ damn hard, to make it work.

It was her fault. 

She can't bring herself to sign the papers, because there's another maybe. 

She gets absolutely wasted, calls him, leaves a voicemail. 

_“It's done. Hope you're happy. Don't d-.”_ She stops herself before she can utter the familiar sentiment, bites her tongue, and ends the call before she can say anything else. 

-

The air is crisp and sterile and it hurts the back of her nose as she comes to, inhaling sharply and suddenly. 

Bobbi opens her eyes to bright lights and silence, broken only by the high pitched chirps of the machines by her head. 

“Glad to see you're awake.” The doctor shuts the door behind him. Bobbi tries to push herself up on her elbows, immediately falling back down when her stitches tug painfully. “Careful now, wouldn't want to reopen those wounds.”

“No we wouldn't,” she croaks with a syrupy sweet smile plastered on her face. 

“Well, Miss Morse, you're expected to make a full recovery, as long as you refrain from any strenuous activities.” She sighs in relief, shoulders deflating at the good news. She opens her mouth to ask when she can leave but the doctor speaks again. “However, I'm sorry to report that we couldn't save the baby.”

Her life comes crashing down around her in a matter of seconds and she feels like she's falling out of reality. 

“Baby?” she breathes, barely managing the word. The doctor nods and continues speaking, but his words are muffled, as if her ears were filled with water. 

She blinks and suddenly the doctor’s gone and it's dark outside. Bobbi numbly looks around, unable to take anything in. 

The words are still playing in her mind like a broken record, skipping and repeating endlessly. Her hand drops to her lap and she drags her thumb over her stomach. 

“I never even knew,” she whispers to the empty room, her words joining the doctor’s, echoing around her head ‘til the end of time. 

-

 _“We always used to talk about having a family. Turns out we had a chance. But, once again, I fucked that up. At least you're off the hook, right?”_ She drops the phone to the couch and finishes off the bottle, turning her head to the side when she's done. 

Experience had taught her that it wasn't fun to choke on your own vomit. 

-

_“Bob, we need to talk. Why won't you answer my calls? And what the hell happened? Please. Please, Bobbi, just talk to me.”_

-

She opens the door, shaking her hair out of the ridiculous updo she had to wear for her cover. 

“What d’you want, Hunter?” He pushes past her, storming into her bunk. “Please, come in.”

“Are we ever gonna talk about that voicem-,” he starts, cutting off abruptly when he sees her expression harden. “Please.” Bobbi scoffs and lifts her arms, letting her hands slap back against her thighs. 

“What's there to talk about?” she laughs coldly. “We got a divorce. I went on a mission. I miscarried. End of story.” Her voice doesn't even crack when she says the word anymore. 

“Bob-.”

“There's nothing to talk about.” She says nothing else, moves back to the door and pulls it open, holding her arm out, finger pointed down the hall. Hunter’s jaw clenches and he storms back out of the room, and she slams the door shut before she can even think about watching him leave.


	2. you couldn't have loved me better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bonus thing, set in present time

“Bob, I'm stealing back one of my shirts,” he calls as she walks into the bathroom. It makes her smile and she glances at her reflection in the mirror, turning sideways. _Still got some time._ She affectionately palms the barely-there bump before joining him in the other room once again. 

He's been oddly quiet for some time and he's standing frozen in front of her dresser. Her heart races in her chest as she bends to grab her discarded shirt from the other night. 

“Hunter? What's wrong?” she asks after tugging the hem down. He slowly turns and the floor drops out from underneath her feet when she sees what's in his hands. “Oh.”

“We're having a baby?” he breathes and she crosses her arms over her chest. 

“No, I am.”

“According to these papers, we’re still married. So yeah, _we_.” Bobbi looks down at the ground and shrugs in lieu of an answer. “Bobbi, is all of this real?” She shrugs again, throat very suddenly closing up. He's up in her space in an instant, fingers gently pressing underneath her chin. 

“Please look at me, love.” She hesitates for a few seconds before focusing back on his face, surprised to find an adoring gaze. She opens her mouth but still can't find the words, so she shrugs yet again. 

Hunter grins impossibly wide and then his lips are on hers, hands cupping her face, thumbs stroking over her jaw. She melts into him, her own hands anchoring on his waist. He's the one to pull away and he rests his forehead against hers. 

“Are we really still married?” She nods very slowly and snorts when his smile somehow grows even bigger. 

“And are you-.” Bobbi nods again before he can finish his sentence and his hand drops to her waist, sliding down over her flat stomach. “Bloody hell.” She laughs, louder and lighter than it's been in a long time, and he kisses her again. 

“I want this. You, us, a family, all of it,” he says eagerly, smile brighter than a thousand suns. 

She couldn't say no, even if she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://www.teacupandhellbeast.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/bobbiimorses)
> 
> s/o to emily for all the wonderful ideas <3


End file.
